This week, we have allegedly witnessed history. For a glorious ten minutes, an all-female spaceflight took place!
Was this a long-overdue correction to the exclusion of women from science and space exploration? A mission to unlock the secrets of the cosmos and help solve planetary-scale crises like climate change?
Alas, no. Our ‘astronauts’ included millionaires and billionaires – among them, none other than popstar Katy Perry – on a joyride to the stars funded to the tune of £30 million by none other than Jeff Bezos.
This casual space hop that likely consumed more carbon than the poorest billion of the world population do in their entire lifetimes. It’s good to know Perry is doing her bit to turn the planet ‘Hot N Cold’.
Yes, Katy Perry, that noted astrophysicist and British Asian Trust ambassador (wait, what?), joined the cosmic cabaret. The Trust, by the way, focuses on ending child labour in India – clearly best addressed via suborbital space selfies.
This was hot on the heels of her latest chart flop, 143 – a synth-heavy mashup of hyperpop and corporate feminism that barely made it off the launchpad.
This is the first all-female space crew since the Soviet Union in 1968. But despite being an identity-politics dream, somehow it’s left even liberal outlets like The Guardian, and celebs like Olivia Munn and Emily Ratajkowski, raising their eyebrows.
Meanwhile, back on Earth (where reality still applies), the learning disability ward I work on is closing because it’s ‘unaffordable.’ Patients needing care will either be shuffled into the community or shipped off to far away wards. Our team will be scattered across London like stardust, dispersing their specialist knowledge.
The public sector is crumbling while billionaires throw blood money into the void and call it ‘progress.’ If this is a ‘Woman’s World’, kindly beam me up and drop me off somewhere more grounded.
It’s no surprise, really. These celebrities live in a ‘whole ‘nother world’, one with no gravity, literally or metaphorically. Technology and wealth that could be used for the betterment of humanity is instead spent on Instagrammable space stunts.
But the working class? We’re ‘Wide Awake’. All we need now is a ‘Dark Horse’ to send this capitalist circus to the dustbin of history.
